maybe if........

Currently Playing:
Miguel ft J. Cole " All I want is you"

You cant make someone love you, or realize your self-worth. A common myth associated with relationships is "what i wont do, another one is waiting to do" The truth is that, yes someone maybe waiting to take your spot, yeah there will always be someone who will do SOME things that you may not be quick to do. But what that statement fails to address is "what are the things THAT you WILL DO, that others want" Before you look at you relationship based on the first statement, think about those things that you do, that only a real woman or real men does for someone that they love. Its always things that the next will not take on. Mainly it constist of the things that Are not entertaining or fun. Were talking about riding out the tough times, money shortage, stress, family problems, extra grinding, selfishless acts, sacrificing self needs, all of which things that are hardly ever rewarded or recognized by the counter part. Just my thoughts.......

Maybe if I had longer hair
maybe if i lost a little weight
maybe if I had lighter skin
maybe if my smile was a little brighter
maybe I wouldn't be wishing

Maybe if I had a better job
Maybe if i was born into money
maybe if my car was lavish
maybe if my clothes had a name
maybe I would be remembered

Maybe if my hair was curly
maybe if my clothes fit tighter
maybe if my eyes were lighter
maybe if my shoe size was smaller
maybe gift giving would be easier

Maybe if i had taken a chance
maybe if my kiss was deeper
maybe of my touch was softer
maybe if my voice was sweeter
maybe i would be labeled

Maybe if my experience was longer
maybe if my desire was stronger
maybe if my degree was higher
maybe if my name was shorter
maybe if i was all these, I would be someone else

Maybe I should be comfortable with who i am
maybe I should appreciate what I have
maybe I should engage in my qualities
maybe I should except my imperfection
maybe then I would find the happiness I look for others to bring me

~~ The Move~~

YAY!!! The move has been made.....

It just feels so comfortable to blog. I have so much more freedom and confidence to post exactly what I want here on my blog. I love facebook for networking purposes, but when it comes to being able to free write, I feel so restricted, and exposed to so much judgement. So....I decided to take my thoughts and post to my own lil palace. Right heere...lol
So as I have previously stated, feel free to enjoy, relate, disagree, or just be noisy. If there are any comments or questions, Please direct them to mdedmon84@yahoo.com

~Questions~

I wanna know why this feels so right
I wanna know why u hold me tight
Each and every night, it keeps me up all night
Thinkin' about the things i like
Can't believe your in my life
I wanna know why ur the one
The things that they should have you've already done
God sent u straight to me

But when you look at me, do you see your wife?
Can you picture us lovin' each other for life?
Are you playin' the role, just like the rest
These are the questions that I ask myself
If, another should come, who's finer than me
And she wanna take your love away, would you leave?
please answer these questions

Could this be my whole fantasy
Maybe u could just be too good for me
If i don't wake then I won't see
Cuz if im not the one you met, then who is in me
In the mist of the tears how come, I love you more, and more, and more
I never longed for no one, yes its true
Seems like this questions keep me here with me

If you, really wanna be with me
Then ill say, I love you endlessly
One thing that I really wanna know
Will this end or will this grow

But when you look at me, do you see your wife?
Can you picture us lovin' each other for life?
Are you playin' the role, just like the rest
These are the questions that I ask myself
If, another should come, who's finer than me
And she wanna take your love away, would you leave?
please answer these questions

Acting accordingly

And after this I hope you understand how I feel when you’re gone. There are very few women who can attest to a MAN who carries those qualities as you do. IT seems to be very few men who will accept commitment and honor as you do. You have earned the right to be called “The one my heart holds 4ever” Although we have differed in the past, my heart still tells me that you have always been the truth. Does the Lord bless us with more then one? Who knows! I’m just thankful I was able to have the opportunity to be schooled by someone of such great standings. When talking about a man appreciating everything his woman has done, from standing by your side when troubles faced us both, relieving as much pressure from your shoulders & transfer it to me although I have the weight of the world on mines. Things I didn’t even consider, because for me it comes nature, you appreciated it. How could a person live without such appreciation? Patience’s is not a virtue, but a rule. But hesitation doesn’t exist. So proud to represent your love. As confident in your abilities as a Man, no need to mention your name, you will read this and already know its you im talking about. & although you will not say anything I know my words will be appreciated. Although you might thank me later. Im already content. For a minute I thought the feeling was leaving me, but I was unconsciously miss placing it. But its found, and more then ever I am more then sold on your ability to have achieved everything you set your mind to. At the hands of a strong woman, you have gone above and beyond. YOU have YET to cease to amaze me. I know they say Its not good to live in the past, but I still re-visit the first time you looked me dead in my eyes and said “I love you” not “love ya” wooow!!!! Best feeling to date! And I knew at the very moment if YOU said it You meant it. Another lesson: if you feel it, u say it EVERYTIME u feel it. I shame the person who condemns love. Because when its real, you feel it. I shame myself with my underestimated dreams of true love. Because those of which you have already been. Lets be my open confession. I thank you from the pits of my soul, for NEVER playing games with my heart, I beginning to weep, anticipating the moment I will once again be in your presences. No one smiles like you do, No one has the same laugh as you do, No one has the same scent as you. No ones skin feels likes your. No ones heart, beats like yours. Couldn’t even begin to imagine anyone else feeling the way I do about u! It seems unheard of……



"25 Reasons"
1... your smile, don't have to say no more
2... your guidance and all the things you show me
3... the way you look at me when you say "I love you"
4... your headstrong personality
5... your take-charge capability
6... I love the way you cook for meBeef roast, white rice with gravy
7,8,9... the roses, the massages, the cards you give for no reason at all
10... the way you spend on me even though I got my own money
11... for always being yourself regardless of how I or anyone else felt
12... the way you don't trip on me when I'm in the studio real lateLike right now
13... knowing just what I need even when I didn't make it clear for you to see
14... for being understanding when that time comes, you know what I mean
15... for your beauty, inside and out And to close it out,
16 through 25 is for All the chicks you could have hit, but you didn't because of your love for me

I could give you 25 reasons why I'm really in love with you
I can give you 25 reasons why I'm never leaving you
I could give you 25 reasons why I'm really in love with you
I can give you 25 reasons why I'm never leaving you... oh
Have you ever loved somebody?
Have you ever loved somebody?
25 reasons why I'm really in love with you (I am so in love with you)
I can give you 25 reasons why I'm never leaving you
25 reasons why I'm really in love with you (I'm so in love with you and it's really more than) 25 reasons why I'm never leaving you
25 reasons why I'm really in love with you
25 reasons why I'm never leaving you (I'm never leaving you...)

October 17

Today is a very special day for me. Today is my grandmothers birthday! I want to wish her a happy birthday! Although you are no longer here with me in the flesh, I thank god for you being present in the spirit. It has been several years since your passing and the years and days never get easier. I will forever miss you and all the times that we shared. Since you have been gone, I have experienced several moments of loneliness and emptiness. No one will ever know the quality of the bond that we shared. You played an important role in the up bringing of me and how I turned out. I strive everyday to become an acceptable woman in your eyes. I know that you are not here in flesh to guide me and keep me on the right path, so I do exactly what I think you want me to do. Its so hard when someone loses someone who is such a large part of their heart. You were/ excuse me, you ARE a large part of my heart. I thank you so much for all that you taught me as a young woman. I have never forgot some of the key lessons that you have taught me, and I feel that I owe you so much more then have given. Sometimes at night I allow my mind to re-visit some of those special moments from the past. Its so important that I never forget those times, since we have no opportunity to create new ones.
Although you are gone for me in flesh today. I will still like to send up all the thanks that I can to you, for raising me, loving me, and showing me so much! I love you beyond the creation of words. Grandma, please accept my promise of success as a token of my gratitude for all that you have given me.~I love you SO MUCH, Happy Birthday! Ms. Bessie Wilson aka My grandma

Throwback Night

Let's call this a throw back night. Lol So I was cleaning my room and found one of my notebooks! So similar to this blog. I keep all my thought and poems into the pages of. Notebook. From front to back. I filled the pages with no resentment. There are two poems I would like to share. Each one came at a very interesting and important time of my life. Lol

The first poem is called "sitting in opposites"

He asked my name

He took my number

He reached for my hand

He request moments of my time

He showed his interest

He made the attempt

I told him my name

I gave him my number

I pulled back my hand

I denied his request for my time

I ignored his interest

I rejected the attempt without giving it a chance

He asked her name

He took her number

He reached for her hand

He requested her time

He showed his interest in her

He made the attempt and now she's the Lucky one!

I wished he'd asked my name again

I wished he'd call again

I wished my hand was in his

I wished he had the time again

I wished he was interested again

I attempted to imagine, what it would be to be her!

The second one, I absolutely love!

The days are filled with sorrow and hurt The nights are abandoned and cold with streams of tears The heart crumbles at the rise of every breath The pain hurts with every lash towards the lack Who would understand the cry out? The demand for understanding is the emotional tantrum that the heart endures when it's broken. The feet are scared and tormented from the weight forced upon the shoulders, while struggling to walk the walk of life. Who will recognize the cry out? The hands are clenched with fear of offering it and being turned upon. Trust lingers upon the hand, unclaimed Words go unspoken Emotions are caged by the soul The blank face, empty soul, broken heart, misunderstood Don't ignore the cry out Understand it, recognize it, hear the cry out!

Wow! I love that poem! Both poems came At times I will never forget! Seeing these Poems, helps me to fall Back in love with my writing. Throwback days are so much fun & they actually remind you! Why u are still doing what u do!!! I love having throwback moments :-)

Throwback to