Slow start

For the past 10months I have been tip toeing around the true issue. I have allowed myself to be consumed by the false impression that I can continue to live the way I want. I have dragged my body through denial because my heart is deducted from passion. I ask myself everyday:

 "what are you living for?" 

"Why do you love so reckless when luck hasn't loved you?" 

All of which I'm too embarrassed to admit. I fear change! I'm scared that I will begin to diminish from the true person I have built myself up to be. 

I'm scared to ask for help. 

So for the next 6 weeks I have decided to slowly begin to move into a better spiritual acceptance of myself. I realize that I can set goals, deadlines and milestones, but how can I truly benefit from any of those expectations, if my heart doesn't have a buy-in. So I have decided to start slow. So I start my journey here. My expectations are those I hold pure to the cavity of my heart. 

May my journey bring: 

Spiritual wellness 

Physical enhancement 

Mentally growth 

Internal peace  

Chapter 1: the introduction to me

Mikeyonna 

dear self

Love not only the parts you are in control of. But cherish those flaws that you are never going to change. 

The battle was lost

I have spent the last 6 months trying to convince myself it didn't matter. But I have yet to succeed. I'm still experiencing aftershocks as a result of the initial quake... 

Dreams do come true... Living in my faith

Just a glimpse through my eyes 

Internally my heart smiles at the 

Sight/sound or udder of your name. 

Is that bad? 

Should I let my soul intervene?? 

Thank you for my smile  

Missing something???

Tonight... I feel like I'm missing my friend. I miss the laughs, I miss the voice... It wasn't much I know, but enough to know. Sucks doesn't it... But I have to trust in GODS plans for me 

Happy birthday grandmother

As the dust settles

The period of total shock, embarrassment & disappointment is starting to slowly fade, which leaves room for reality to enter.  

What I thought would be a perfect journey has hit a dead end. The reality is, I encountered another failed attempt at what I so patiently yet anticipated. 

Feeling some type of way..