Love this song

I was going to write my own words tonight. But I'm really not feeling it. So I'm laying in bed listening to music instead.

Beyonce- Broken-hearted Girl lyrics

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love enough to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you

But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

Secret admirer

I'm so deeply in love with words. I don't know when I became so attached to them. But the difference between a horrible day & a decent one. Words are the best

Turning blk roses red 

I'm really battling whether straddling the fence Is something that is self soothing or internal bruising. All in all
Meaning, is being in between make things better for the moment or worst for the long run! A few days ago, I made a step forward, it felt very uncomfortable. But one good advice of mine that I have often shared & now I'm deciding to give it to me: something only feels right when it's become routine. But just because it feels right doesn't make it right. At right now, California feels right because it's been home to me for my entire life. So of course u feel a little uncomfortable. At the end of the day, what is left here for me? True my family is here! But they have strong foundations, they will always be here. I was advised to follow love & since I have no physical sign of love to follow, I will follow what I love to do in my passion.
One of the worst thing a individual can do, is fear success. Over all the things I do fear, success is NOT one. I am determine to make do with what I can do. Anything else will lead you to a pack of lies and defeat. It's funny because a few nights ago, someone I have trusted told me a lie, and it was a little simple lie. Something so small it could have actually been avoided even being told. I didn't even entertain it by calling them out or even responding to it. I just said "thnx" and never addressed it after. I was really disappointed by the effort to tell such a pointless lie & blow all your credibility on something that small. that really was my determine factor on taking that step & shortly after I read this quote:

"A lie is still a lie, regardless of the reason behind it. You can say you did it for a good cause but the point is, you still did it."

Understanding that people are out for self and others last, makes it easier to determine whether you should do something for the good of others or the best of yourself.

That's my time... Happy Sunday 

Asking for life

Living is a task. I'm trying to do so much, but there is so much that I don't understand. I want to do the new update on my phone But I'm clueless. I wanna learn to budget & save money! Yesterday I went to the store alone & as I was walking back to my car I was thinking to myself " this is not a good idea at all. A man doesn't make you invincible, but would give someone a second thought if they were thinking about kidnapping me" lol evening paying bills. Who invented bills lol! But all in all. I'm doing the best I know how to do. I guess I'll be fine. Once I get a hold of how to live life & survive. Lol

Back to what I know

It's been a while since I have set down and wrote. I have been so preoccupied with the wonders of life, that I have forgotten my release therapy. Well here goes a quick poem that I'm currently constructing in my head:

The form of a shape in which I admire
Mimics the heart
The sound of the tune I follow
Releases the pressure
The journey of the struggle I endure
Shadows my soul.
The size of the appetite I feed
Satisfies the hunger I bare
Living in fear
Will only shade success

Thank you to tonights audience. My GOD provide peace and harmony. Until next time. GOOD NIGHT LOVE BUGS <3

Forgiveness & the truth

Finding forgiveness for ones mistakes, takes the truth. Understanding that a mistake is nature & the truth is learned. You cant communicate properly what you don't truly feel. I struggle with identifying ones truth with their mistakes. I often search for the evidence of a lie. But what you seek, you shall find! This is a truth that has yet failed.