Here's a question that I have been asking myself and I'm sure others have been faced with a very similar question. If someone asked me to break a relationship down in percentages how would It be done?
Well Here goes my shot at it...
25%- RESPECT
25%- TRUST & HONESTY
25%- COMMUNICATION
10%- ENJOYING ONE ANOTHER (HAVING FUN TOGETHER)
10%- AGREEMENT
5%- PHYSICAL (SEX & etc)
100%- FAITH IN GOD
If total a percentage over 75%, stop complaining, your in excellent shape. If your under that 75%, then either work it out or let it go! Simple
Monday, September 20, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
~~I open my heart~~
I have been away too long, My life has been so busy and because of that I have allowed myself to become overwhelmed again. Why do I stop writing when I know that when i bottle up my emotions I began to weight myself down. So I'm at that point again. So here goes
~~I open my heart~~
On a recent mini vacation, I was given the opportunity to sit in silence for a a period of 4+ hours, which was perfect for my soul. I sat back looking at a road of very little scenery. I began to think about the most important things I have going on in my life at this very time. Why do i fear so much in life? I have been on a constant road of wonder about this. Everything that has gone wrong or will go wrong in my life has been a direct result of my fears. I have prayed for some type of bravery, something that will allow me or help me become fearless. God, I'm losing everything that is great in my life being cautious. I was given three major opportunities this year along, all of which i barely missed out on because of fear. I will admit that much of my happiness has come on pure consumption of the love of the most amazing man I have ever been in contact with. The funny thing is because of a instant burst if bravery that i had over a year ago is the reason for. (side giggle to self) I continue to remind myself that nothing great comes without a struggle or trials & tribulations. Its funny because I called my first love my first love because I knew that I was in love, but to be honest after feeling everything that i feel now, I was totally thrown off. Because this actually seems to be the most amazing feeling I have ever felt. And whats even better is when i look at him, i cant help but to smile, so when i call myself being upset I have to avoid eye contact or leave because I would totally contradict myself if i put on a huge smile, but saying I'm mad..( haha) My biggest fear ( there goes that words again) is losing him. my HOPES are that he trust me, i want him to be able to know that no matter what we go thru or faced with, Im not going to give up & i want him to know that everything i say & do comes from a pure heart that I was blessed with. I can count on as many fingers as the entire population of the world has combined how many times I have been so grateful that God has blessed me. I seat last night watching " a Diary of a angry black man" and i cant help to admit that I display some of the traits that black men claimed to be wrong with a black woman. I silently began to cry to myself, So does this mean I'm in jeopardy of losing him? You really don't know what to expect when being in a relationship, I think that's why i so scared. So many stories about people falling in & out of love its so scary. I have bury myself in so much fear and worry when we have the slightest disagreement. Because at any moment I fear he will call it quits. So how do i love away from this fear?
My insecurities are showing more than ever. I had a great opportunity to pursue a small modeling gig. I never doubted that i was pretty, but i just felt I didn't have what it took to be in such a high quality field. My unique personality is one that is to be learned and seen through experience, I'm not sure being unique the way that i am, comes out in photos or through my personal appearance. Some people have to have a special talent. It was so hard for me to believe that i could be a raw talent. It just isn't in me.
All in all, I have allowed myself to be taken over by fear. I fear so much and hold confidence in very little, but how do I change that?
So, to reflect on my feelings I play " Her Heart" Anthony HAmilton ( a song that always has tears burning the back of my eyes,, when I play it) and i allow the tears to guide me through. & i end with a simple prayer. " Lord just make everything okay, whether I overcome my fears or not. I am eger to become SIMPLY just a happy person, Im not asking for the world at my feet, just to be happy, let your will be done, Amen"
~~I open my heart~~
On a recent mini vacation, I was given the opportunity to sit in silence for a a period of 4+ hours, which was perfect for my soul. I sat back looking at a road of very little scenery. I began to think about the most important things I have going on in my life at this very time. Why do i fear so much in life? I have been on a constant road of wonder about this. Everything that has gone wrong or will go wrong in my life has been a direct result of my fears. I have prayed for some type of bravery, something that will allow me or help me become fearless. God, I'm losing everything that is great in my life being cautious. I was given three major opportunities this year along, all of which i barely missed out on because of fear. I will admit that much of my happiness has come on pure consumption of the love of the most amazing man I have ever been in contact with. The funny thing is because of a instant burst if bravery that i had over a year ago is the reason for. (side giggle to self) I continue to remind myself that nothing great comes without a struggle or trials & tribulations. Its funny because I called my first love my first love because I knew that I was in love, but to be honest after feeling everything that i feel now, I was totally thrown off. Because this actually seems to be the most amazing feeling I have ever felt. And whats even better is when i look at him, i cant help but to smile, so when i call myself being upset I have to avoid eye contact or leave because I would totally contradict myself if i put on a huge smile, but saying I'm mad..( haha) My biggest fear ( there goes that words again) is losing him. my HOPES are that he trust me, i want him to be able to know that no matter what we go thru or faced with, Im not going to give up & i want him to know that everything i say & do comes from a pure heart that I was blessed with. I can count on as many fingers as the entire population of the world has combined how many times I have been so grateful that God has blessed me. I seat last night watching " a Diary of a angry black man" and i cant help to admit that I display some of the traits that black men claimed to be wrong with a black woman. I silently began to cry to myself, So does this mean I'm in jeopardy of losing him? You really don't know what to expect when being in a relationship, I think that's why i so scared. So many stories about people falling in & out of love its so scary. I have bury myself in so much fear and worry when we have the slightest disagreement. Because at any moment I fear he will call it quits. So how do i love away from this fear?
My insecurities are showing more than ever. I had a great opportunity to pursue a small modeling gig. I never doubted that i was pretty, but i just felt I didn't have what it took to be in such a high quality field. My unique personality is one that is to be learned and seen through experience, I'm not sure being unique the way that i am, comes out in photos or through my personal appearance. Some people have to have a special talent. It was so hard for me to believe that i could be a raw talent. It just isn't in me.
All in all, I have allowed myself to be taken over by fear. I fear so much and hold confidence in very little, but how do I change that?
So, to reflect on my feelings I play " Her Heart" Anthony HAmilton ( a song that always has tears burning the back of my eyes,, when I play it) and i allow the tears to guide me through. & i end with a simple prayer. " Lord just make everything okay, whether I overcome my fears or not. I am eger to become SIMPLY just a happy person, Im not asking for the world at my feet, just to be happy, let your will be done, Amen"
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Which end is the road heading now
Shine in the sun, but dim in the dark
I never understood that part
Do what you need to get there
Do nothing to stay there
portray to be what you wish
and truly disappoint those you have fooled
Let only god mold your ways
Because tomorrow is never promised today!
I never understood that part
Do what you need to get there
Do nothing to stay there
portray to be what you wish
and truly disappoint those you have fooled
Let only god mold your ways
Because tomorrow is never promised today!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
What Men & Women should know about Valentines Day
1) It’s never okay to assume you’re someone’s valentine. How about asking? Me personally I think since it’s usually up to the man whether you guys are in a committed relationship or not, going to get married or not. So why not let him do the honors.
2) Valentines Day is a joined appreciation day. It is a day for BOTH men and women to share appreciation and love for one another. So ladies step your game up, we want him to appreciate us and give us things; we need to do the same. It’s a couples day
3) Valentines Day is something that can’t be made up. Sure, u can miss someone’s birthday and send a belated b-day card or call with apologies. But Valentines Day is like an anniversary. It’s a specific day where you let that “One & only special someone” know, this is their day, and u have only them on your mind” If he/she misses this day, more then likely YOUR NOT that “One & only special someone” Sorry, to say but its very true. You should know where to go from there.
4) Cheesy is perfect for Valentines Day. This is a day where cheesy and thoughtful gifts over power quality & quantity. A few examples. Try a handmade card with flowers and a small box of candies. The more thought you put into the day, gets a better point across.
5) Relax. Showing someone that are important to you or expressing your feelings shouldn’t be like Finals. It should come natural and feel natural.
6) Its Okay to enjoy Valentines Day even if your single. For years, I have been single, and it seems no matter how close I get to Valentines Day I never make it, to have that day I have dreamed of. But after awhile of always giving or going all the way out for someone who I thought was special, it always turned out upside down. So if your single, this is a day for you as well, you are surrounded by family and friends who love you. Enjoy this day with them
7) Valentines Day is a day of Love. Don’t ruin it by being salty towards people who are enjoying it. Jealousy is a disease and we have to work on our self infections to start working towards a cure.
8) Become Fearless. Valentines Day is the perfect day to say I love you. If you have felt that you loved someone and really didn’t know how to say it or how the other person would feel about it or you after you have said it. Valentines Day is a perfect excuse. Hell everyone is going to be throwing around “I LOVE YOU” why not you too, take some pressure off by throwing in a playful card that says it. Followed by some verbal bravery.
2) Valentines Day is a joined appreciation day. It is a day for BOTH men and women to share appreciation and love for one another. So ladies step your game up, we want him to appreciate us and give us things; we need to do the same. It’s a couples day
3) Valentines Day is something that can’t be made up. Sure, u can miss someone’s birthday and send a belated b-day card or call with apologies. But Valentines Day is like an anniversary. It’s a specific day where you let that “One & only special someone” know, this is their day, and u have only them on your mind” If he/she misses this day, more then likely YOUR NOT that “One & only special someone” Sorry, to say but its very true. You should know where to go from there.
4) Cheesy is perfect for Valentines Day. This is a day where cheesy and thoughtful gifts over power quality & quantity. A few examples. Try a handmade card with flowers and a small box of candies. The more thought you put into the day, gets a better point across.
5) Relax. Showing someone that are important to you or expressing your feelings shouldn’t be like Finals. It should come natural and feel natural.
6) Its Okay to enjoy Valentines Day even if your single. For years, I have been single, and it seems no matter how close I get to Valentines Day I never make it, to have that day I have dreamed of. But after awhile of always giving or going all the way out for someone who I thought was special, it always turned out upside down. So if your single, this is a day for you as well, you are surrounded by family and friends who love you. Enjoy this day with them
7) Valentines Day is a day of Love. Don’t ruin it by being salty towards people who are enjoying it. Jealousy is a disease and we have to work on our self infections to start working towards a cure.
8) Become Fearless. Valentines Day is the perfect day to say I love you. If you have felt that you loved someone and really didn’t know how to say it or how the other person would feel about it or you after you have said it. Valentines Day is a perfect excuse. Hell everyone is going to be throwing around “I LOVE YOU” why not you too, take some pressure off by throwing in a playful card that says it. Followed by some verbal bravery.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
If u ever loved someone who was trouble
So, i was going to sit and write a blog. But i wasnt too sure on what i should write about. Then this song i was listening to this morning on my way to work popped in my head..Its funny cause i found a old bag in my closet that had some really old cds that i had. One of the cds, wasnt that old but had this song on it by Jazmine Sullivan- After The Hurricane I love that song. I suggest u read the lyrics as the song plays. SO u can grasp the full understanding of what shes talking about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bawqI6UqKPU
Saturday, January 23, 2010
I dont know if my heart is filled with a little anger right now. or just filled with hurt. But all i know is my tears are a product of whatever it is that im feeling..I just dont understand..Its a unknown thing to me. Lord knows i only have great intentions for anything i put my finger on. Hurting someone is last on my list. So why is it that I just continue to get hurt. I just dont understand. I just dont ever seem to be enough. I have fought a battle of trying make a father love me as his only daughter. I cant even succeed at doing that. Someone who is meant to love you no matter what the situation is. No matter what you do, your father is suppose to love you with no restraints. That is where you built the foundation of how you allow another man to treat you. I just dont get it...My heart is in so much hurt. And thru it all I still am so determine to be a good person, all the way from the bottom of my heart. I would never look to purposely hurt anyone. but in return all i get is the opposite. Why is the world so so so so ugly. I have given my all to so many people that i have encounter, but i just continue to lose. The fact of the matter is that, I just continue to allow it to happen, but the purity of my heart wont allow myself to stop it from happen....I dont get it
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I seen the signs
How fast does things change...I just dont understand. Feeling like i lost my grip!.Goodnight!
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