That's all

Scared of the future
Living in the now
Running from the past...

But a still photo says "I love him & can't help it"

Listening to my mind & not my heart

I am beyond overwhelmed.. But I know I'm going to be okay!!

I can't under estimate the power of love. Because if you mean it when u say it. Just saying it's over won't even dent a mark in the path of getting over it, 2months into the end, will still feel
Like only 2mins have passed. I'm so scared of the idea of loving someone else. But I can't force someone to stay. I have to follow my mind & never my heart :(
Whether u empathize with me or not. The bottom line is... When your 100% In you see no repairs, you see no end of the road, you see no happiness. Until someone else comes & shows u different.

Danger around

Finally in the bed before midnight. Thank GOD, because I am so tired. I really hope I can get some good sleep tonight. But before we part for the night I want to talk about progression and success.
Sometimes it's the start of a new chapter that brings forward a drive within your soul, that pushes you to chase success. The ultimate goal of life , should be to gain as much success as one can. The first place to
Start is progression. This is something that I am realizing is missing in my personal & professional life.
In order to succeed, one must progress in positive direction. If you want to progress properly. You must be willing and able to identify those restrictions that are holding you back & be able to get rid of them. The first place to look. Is those whom have a hard time congratulating your success.. Let them go!! Once the work is done there will be a increase of positive attributes.
Ending quote:

" Progression is the work &'success is the reward.." -Mikeyonna

Good night world..

Fault was all of my own..

Up.... Working on my final for my grad class. And my current playlist favorites are:

Fell asleep for about 30mins... Now I'm up looking around. Wth. I'm not getting this whole process & why does sleep depravation have to be apart of the process.
Really??
Im starting to get pissed off night after night! It brings Tears to my eyes. Im struggling so hard to sleep at night, and it's only failed attempts. So I wake up & write. I love writing....But I'm so tired of writing about challenges I'm facing. Uuuugggghhhh I sure hope the change comes soon, because visibly I'm the only one with this issue.

Unspoken words

So this weekend was suppose to be the time that I talk to him about this major step in my life that I'm going to be making shortly. But it seems the weekend has come & gone. The conversation didn't take place. It's been my experience when the words "I need to talk you" then puts someone in a instant position of interest. So I avoid that statement, because in the nature of our state, There is so much more that needs to be discussed and worked out. So that statement would have only set the stage for something that is no where near the area in which this other news would come. Eventually it will come back to us, because this will majorly effect any future that may include us. So that puts things in a different state.

So I tried something else. I wanted to make sure I was in an environment that was comfortable to me and would cause no time constraints. So every night before bed I asked for his ear on exchange for conversation. "pillow talk" has always been our strongest quality. Sometimes at night, I wonder if that why I struggle with sleep. Because before we decided that the value of our love didn't deserve much more of our immediate attention, my sleeping nights followed our end of the night conversations. I often feel that is the missing element in the end of the night & why I'm no longer able to sleep at night. But I'm hoping this lack of sleep is just a phase in the recovery stage.

But, my request went unheard or unacknowledged. So i guess this weekend wasn't meant to be the time. I'm really not sure if the opportunity will present it self again and this is not something I feel comfortable or refuse to talk about in a rushed, over the phone, text or uncomfortable environment. So I will set the stage for my comfort & absolutely nothing less.

At the end of the day! I'm learning more about what im faced with.

But on a happier note. I just got the confirmation that I'm going to snow :) it feels good to wanna do something & actually get to do it. Progress scares me, but one thing I have never feared was success. So I proceed......

Walking in the middle of the road

Show me the path that is laid out for me. Remind me how the journey will strength my soul. Allow only those who are worthy of the steps to walk in stride towards the redemptions of it's distance. Line the path with test of dedication and storms to shower the floors as belief and faith have to carry my body safely to the finish line.

All i ask. Is the trip be worth the wait. Let the reward reign success at the soles of my feet. For the journey was long, difficult and wearing on the flesh..

These are my traveling thoughts...,
6:55pm 12/10/11