Crying for a shoulder

Today was such a emotional one. Exactly one year ago. I lost a friend of mine to a heartless crime. I pray for her peace above. Lord has shown me, that time heals but to get to that place it takes faith and patiences. I lay at night & cry alone. Life is so so so short, who really has time for waiting for someone else? We don't? Sometimes life will show you that its time for us to pony up and play the part. Gather your strength, your faith & pride. Depend on yourself cause pain is ONLY felt by the one who is hurt. And no matter how hard we want to take that from another, truth is WE CANT.
So if you love, love hard or don't love at all. Point blank!!!

Risking it all

As I ask myself for the things i am willing to risk. At what cause are you willing to risk it all. It doesn't find me at a lost of words, just a limitation on my wager of what to say.

Mistakes I've made

I have made a mistake. It cost me my pride and re-opened the most painful cut.... But as I prepare to gear-up for damage control. I ask myself! How much did I really gain from giving in. What did I relinquish in the end?

Praying for the abolishment of solitude, in hopes of reconciliation got the best of me.

So I'm again. 2 steps behind where I have peaked. I am 2 steps further from peace and fulfillment. I am two breaks of the heart away from being whole again.

I subjected myself to being honest in my feelings for the comforting sound of the tone in the voice that always seemed to sooth & calm my spirit. All feelings that I have to brace to forget in order to gain control.

I made a mistake & I'm reluctant to saying I am at all proud of it...,.

.......

This is what got me tonight

Splice

Separate
Play &
Love
Increase
Continuous
Excellence

It's gets so hard

Sometimes I miss him so much! I wonder when the thoughts will disappear. But those are the times I have to force my mind to take back control from my heart 
Why doesn't the heart come with a manual? At least then I could read on how to stop it from feeling so much.

When family loves one another. They make sure to make an effort to care about the well being of the ones. So why is it that when couples part ways do they find it convenient to turn away and never look back. I'm guilt of this. But why! You go on for months & years about loving this person! But once you break up! It's as if they vanish off this earth. It's like their well being is no longer a concern. GOD doesn't tell us, that he loves us or cares about us ONLY when were doing everything right! NO he loves us unconditionally. Right/wrong sin/saint we are given his love, guidance, & favor. So, with this mentality. Why am I still guilty of this?

On the highest level...

Good afternoon loves....
I can't even beginning to explain how intense and busy my world has been over these several weeks! I am determine to stay extremely occupied with the things that will assist me in achieve that desired level of success.

One thing that brought the biggest smile to my face this afternoon was a comment that was made to me. I was told that I have one of the purest, thoughtful, genuine heart & soul for a person my age...
I have considered this.. One of the highest level compliments I have ever received.

Well off to a sea of homework... Writing is my passion so like everything one loves, I can't stay away too long....

Good night!