Revealed

Good morning....
Last night I learned a important fact about myself. As of lately, I have picked up that thing that makes me feel like I'm worth something, gives me a purpose, a piece of mind & some sanity. Writing... What more can I say! I love writing. I'm not sure why I was given this passion, but it comforts me. But these are things that I already knew. What I have learned is that, writing is helping me put my life into perspective. I'm realizing how much pain is really buried deep within. Things that I thought had vanished are now surfacing, because I have not yet dealt with them. Things that date back further than a failed relationship. I'm infamous for taking the things that are affecting me & pushing them in the back of my heart & hiding them from myself. But because they are in the cavities of my heart. I may not be able to see them but I can definitely feel them.
Life hasn't been my strongest task, I rarely tell people how I feel. I reject a familiar face in fear it will fade with time. I lack affection, because I don't know it. I suffer from neglect of being treasured. I overly shower others with gifts, support & love because I fear the day another feels a ounce of what I allow myself to feel because I restrict myself from Receiving from others.

So what do you tell a person like me. it's not something that is deadly, but what I feel restricts me from enjoying life entirely. Many look at the external and see someone who has it all together. But truth is.... I only appear externally what I strive to be internally. Im writing more and more daily, trying to drag out all the insecurities, self- doubt, imperfections and hurt, So I continue to write......